What my book is not...

What this book is not…

This is not a scientific journal piece about the signs, symptoms, diagnosis and treatment of paranoid schizophrenia, or any other mental illness for that matter. Although I do give a thin outline and definition of some of the symptoms, it is certainly not all-inclusive and notably editorialized with literary license by the author. Moi.

This is not a tell-all expose’ of my family written to find fault or blame or responsibility. Or lack thereof.

This is not a story about a journey of living with mental illness in you and your brain, nor does it offer any bookmarks or templates to place over other individuals living with mental illness.

This is not easy to read, and it certainly has not been easy to write.

This is not fiction.

This is not my brother’s story.

This is not my father’s story. Nor my mother’s or oldest brother’s or any of my sister’s story.

What this book is…

This is MY story about living with a brother with mental illness, specifically and eventually diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia.

This is a book about hope and how sometimes uncomfortable, undiagnosed, un-labeled lives can create that sense of strangely placed confidence and an “I will land on my feet” attitude.

This is sometimes the voice of a scared little girl navigating unknown days and nights with little to no beacon of direction.

This is sometimes the voice of a pre-pubescent teen entering the stage of dating and her attraction to boys.

This is sometimes the voice of a young girl growing up in a small southeastern Idaho town in the 1960’s and 1970’s.

This is sometimes the voice of a melancholy woman wanting to understand the tears which come unannounced, seemingly unprovoked and unexplained.

This is a story which needs to be told.

This is a non-fictional account of my life as the sister of a schizophrenic.

One of my hopes in sharing my story, is in traversing other’s lives who have grown up in a house stitched with mental illness, whether it be diagnosed or not. You as a reader can enter my world through a small portal of days, nights, years, life and death. I also hope it stirs you toward self-acceptance and shame-shedding. Finally, I hope it takes you a step closer to appreciating the health you have and the lives of those who love and support you.

I hope it gives you hope. It showed me hope has always been my saving grace.